So, today the funniest/most interesting thing for the entire year happened to me today. But first, a prelude.
Every morning before work, and most lunch breaks, I go to the same place for coffee/lunch. Even if I'm not going to eat anything I just go anyway as routine to hang out. So over the years, you eventually get to know in passing most of the regulars.
In this manner I was "adopted" as friends, in particular by two people who I shall for the sake of confidentiality refer to as Ms. Four Boyfriends, and her colleague, Colleague. I trust the names are self-explanatory.
Fast forward to today. I'm sitting outside eating lunch. Sitting at the table with me are Ms. Four Boyfriends, Colleague, and Colleague's six year old daughter who she brought with to work. The ladies are doing idle chit chat and smoking and eventually there is a lull in the conversation.
Suddenly, the daughter pipes up, and out of the blue asks Ms. Four Boyfriends "Did you sleep with him?" while pointing to me.
Her mother freezes for a split second in disbelief before asking "What did you just say?!". Ms. Four Boyfriends goes into immediate denial mode faster than a politician being brought to task. I make a valiant attempt to stay straight faced but immediately burst out into raucous self-deprecating laughter.
Unaware of her juvenile faux pas, the daughter pushes on defiantly with the kind of perserverance I wish I had when I was younger. Ms. Four Boyfriends patiently attempts to clarify that no, I am not her boyfriend, yes, she is single* and admits to being lonely.
(* Due to current circumstances much to her displeasure, all four of her "boyfriends" are currently (temprorarily) hooked up with other girls due to differences in measures of commitment regarding all parties involved. We are studiously kept up to date on developments via daily haranguing.)
The daughter then says something to the effect that we make a cute couple (I was too busy trying not to die from laughter to remember her exact words). Ms. Four Boyfriend drops the "I'm like a brother to her" line, to which the daughter vehemently disagrees. The topic keeps on rolling but alas, I'm too amused by the opening line to actually follow what's going on.
Thank you six year old girl who I have only known for two days, you are the best wingman I've ever had.
Edit: Wednesday updates
The Colleague tells us today that when Daughter got home, she proceeded to tell her dad all about her day, showing him surreptitious photos, telling him who everyone is, "And this is Mister Swift, and this is Ms. Four Boyfriends, and they're going to get married." Ms. Four Boyfriends put on a good show of pretending not to hear a thing her colleague said, while I savoured that tiny little glimmer of hope that will have to last me for at least a year until the next time someone says something nice about me.
If I am not mistaken, today is the first day this year I have taken
leave. I spent half of it sleeping until my arm start screaming in
excruciating pain from sleeping in a bad position, and the other half
playing pointless, mind-numbingly repetitive games that reward grinding
with even more grinding.
So, another night of sleep ruined by (minibus) taxis making a noise. But this time, things got a whole lot more interesting (read: schadenfreude). Before I start, for the international people, this is what they look like:
Anyhow. So this morning I'm fast asleep and dreaming and reasonably content when suddenly I'm awoken at 00:30 by the sound of metal scraping on asphalt, and people yelling. "An accident!" I think to myself as I jump out of bed and run to the balcony.
The first thing I see is someone dragging the door from the minibus taxi across the road, followed by a mob of what seemed to be the occupants of said taxi chasing him while yelling and trying in vain to intimidate him. He makes it to the opposite side of the road, drops the door down (finally, the bloody noise of the thing grinding on the road was driving me insane), then proceeds to chase the mob away, since he's a buff guy in a shirtless top and the mob was mostly drunk women and the kind of scrawny guys who wear pink 3/4 length pants. Oh and there was one woman howling like a banshee while lurching around in traffic causing all the oncoming cars to swerve. What a scene to wake up to.
At the time I figured that the taxi was in an accident (due to the fact that they usually drive like total assholes), and this entrepreneuring guy decided to profit from their misfortune and steal loot the door to sell as scrap, since, finders keepers.
Eventually after about 15 minutes the police and company show up, and then things get even more interesting. It turns out that someone (allegedly the driver, or one of his lackeys), stole the door-toting guys' cellphone. According to eyewitness accounts (since these were the kind of drunk people who lose all ability to talk at normal volumes), this guy then proceeded to rip off the door in rage, before carrying it away. The mob then went psychotic and starting screaming and yelling and wailing and cursing, while the guy yells back that he's not giving the door back until they give back his phone.
After a while the police calmed them down, and seeing nothing interesting is going to happen anytime soon I go back to bed. I get woken up at 3am, interrupting a really interesting dream (gee thanks, again), to see someone running down the street, with his persuers shouting "CATCH HIM CATCH HIM", and the fleeing person runs into the mob still standing next to the taxi.
So, I have no idea how things actually ended. I'd like to point out that 99.9% of the time I am completely against people stealing from accident scenes. However, these taxis are a public nuisance and complete scum of the earth. I have nothing against people partying and having fun, but all they have to do is walk 3 minutes down the road and they'll be at the start of the city's one kilometer long night scene filled with bars, clubs, taverns and pubs.
But instead, these people park on the side of the road between apartments and hotels, then proceed to play obnoxiously loud music until 4am on weekdays, all while screaming, howling and wailing as loud as they can, leaving a trail of broken bottles, vomit, urine and faeces on the sidewalk the next day. One could say I am not particularly fond of these people that keep rocking up and having their impromptu parties outside.
In closing, I'm hoping that the guy got his phone back, the thief got a bit of mob justice, and these people with their taxi parties go somewhere else and never come back (sadly, they'll probably be back again tonight knowing my luck).
Second photo was this snow city scene, really narrow streets but still tall buildings, looked kinda olden-times-ish, and there was snow on the ground. So you had these buildings all drab, brownish and gray, stretching from up high down to the ground giving a nice sense of perspective and converging lines with a 35mm focal length.
First photo was weird, sun was going down (on the wrong side though, since I remember the location (and no it was rising)), and there were these really really low lying clouds, and they were almost pitch black, but you could still see underneath them the same effect that you get when it's just about to rain. Anyway I missed this shot because I was in a car, and that really peeved me off (the missing the shot, but being in cars too, eurgh)
Lastly, I'd like to thank the police for waking me up at 4am by yelling on their loudhailer at some random drunk driver, instead of showing up to chase away the inconsiderate (insert lots of rude words here) who were standing outside their minibus taxis making a noise until 3am. Though I guess I wouldn't want to tell a horde of drunk people to shut up either, without a significant amount of support.
So I was perusing my dashboard, which tends to be chock-full of nothing but complaining (just like this page! :D), and I came across someone I follow complaining about someone else being immature.
So, I ask them in private what they meant (since it's someone I chat to regularly).
And they can't explain exactly what it is about the conversations they have with this person that they find immature. And they can't give examples of what would be mature instead.
Just like in primary school (junior high) 15~20 years ago, people throw
"immature" around like an insult and put-down without any thought behind
it. Just like kids today who use "gay" to describe anything they don't
Even though it's not me they're talking about, it strikes a raw nerve since it reminds me of 12 year old me being told I'm immature by classmates and having no idea why they think I'm immature, what do about it, or how to be more mature.
I can't remember what I was dreaming about, but I do remember that
there was a boss fight like in a videogame, and just as it was about to
start, my alarm clock went off. Thanks alarm clock, you ruined
So I dreamt I was waking up, whether it was from another dream or
whether I was really waking up it's hard to tell these days. Suddenly, I
thought to myself, "Oh **** when are exams? I haven't even started
Then I remembered I haven't been in school for over 10 years.
number two then struck home: "Without school, and with all that free
time, what have I been wasting all my time on?" "Oh right, work."
Had another post-apocalyptic dream last night. It was pretty cool but details now are scant. Someone really needs to invent a dream recorder.
Of the fragments I remember, we(I?) were riding along a coastal road, lake/ocean on the left, vertical face of rock on the right, trying to escape. (Lots of menacing looking darks shadows of things in the water waiting for us to 'accidentally' fall in.)
Eventually the road crumbled into ruin and we had to stop the vehicle and continue on foot. At this point physics and stuff went all weird and the water was like a country side brook or stream and there were parts where it didn't obey gravity and such. Continuing the journey to escape from whoever was chasing us. Some stuff here happened that I don't remember, and the next thing we were in some small little wooden cabin, perched very, very high above the body of water. I was alone with my two captors, one human and one not so human. Luckily, eventually some sort of aircraft/missile/knife missile (hi, Culture series) put us all out of our misery before they could do anything more.
In one of the prior bits, we were trawling around the ruined landscape of places we knew. It was getting dark so we found a house to stay in the for the night. I remember we were trying to board it up for some safety while also trying to find water, which is a lot harder than it sounds when the trappings of civilisation have crumbled and you have no running water, flushing toilets or electricity running. As the night progressed, something happened and we got attacked by something or other. Can't remember. Oh well.